The world of parenting is full of surprises — some wonderful, some challenging, and some that completely shift the way you see your child. For me, one of those turning points was learning that my oldest son has ADHD.
I never imagined I’d be walking this path. Growing up in the 1970s, I had only a vague idea of what was then called “ADD.” Back then, it was a label used for restless boys who couldn’t sit still, interrupted class, or caused disruptions. The “solution” people mentioned was Ritalin — which, in my mind, was just a way to calm them down. That narrow perspective stayed with me for years.
In 1987, the official diagnosis changed to ADHD to include hyperactivity as a central feature. (Source: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5724393/) But I still believed ADHD was just about high energy and misbehavior.
Early Signs I Missed
When my son reached fourth grade, his teacher suggested I consider having him evaluated for ADHD. She even shared that she had ADHD herself and recognized the signs. I dismissed it immediately. My son wasn’t bouncing off the walls, his grades were decent, and he wasn’t disruptive in class.
The same concern came up again in fifth grade. This time, his social studies teacher told me something that caught me off guard: he wasn’t really present in class. Yes, he was physically sitting there, but mentally he was somewhere else. He wasn’t taking notes, wasn’t participating, and often drifted into daydreams while staring out the window.
Even then, I brushed it aside. I convinced myself that he was just bored, unmotivated, or not trying hard enough. Between working full-time and caring for two aging parents, I didn’t have the capacity to dig deeper.
When Reality Hit
High school was the breaking point. As the workload increased, my son could no longer get by with minimal effort. He admitted he struggled to stay awake in class and couldn’t hold his focus for long stretches. His grades started slipping, and I finally realized this wasn’t laziness — something else was going on.
That’s when we met with a psychologist who specialized in learning differences. After a full assessment, the diagnosis came back: ADHD, along with a few additional challenges. Suddenly, all those years of teachers’ concerns made sense.
Lessons Learned
Looking back, I wish I had taken the teachers’ advice more seriously. Early testing could have saved my son from unnecessary struggles and given us the tools to support him sooner. Along the way, I also learned some powerful truths:
ADHD is not always about hyperactivity. It can mean zoning out, inattention, or seeming “checked out” while physically present.
Hyperfocus is real. My son could spend hours on subjects that fascinated him, even if he struggled to stay engaged elsewhere.
Kids labeled as “lazy” are often battling challenges we can’t see.
Testing doesn’t just give a label — it gives direction, resources, and hope.
A Note for Other Parents
If your child is struggling in ways you can’t quite explain, please don’t wait as long as I did. An evaluation can provide answers and open doors to support systems that change lives.
Here are a couple of resources I found helpful:
ADHD evaluation and diagnosis: https://www.cdc.gov/adhd/diagnosis/index.html
ADHD treatment options: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd-the-basics
Final Thought: Parenting a child with ADHD can be overwhelming, but it can also open your eyes to new ways of thinking, learning, and thriving. The earlier we understand what our children are facing, the sooner we can help them unlock their full potential.
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